GQ: Thanks for having me over, and congratulations on the movie. Still number one at the box office.
BS: Well thank you. Can I get you a drink?
GQ: I probably shouldn’t.
BS: It’s just as well. I only have Gatorade and Dr. Pepper.
GQ: You designed this house, right? What was your inspiration?
BS: I looked at a lot of my friends’ studio apartments and kind of went from there. It’s a pretty small space for a house, just the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom, and the garage. But I park outside, so the garage can also be the living room when I have guests over.
GQ: That’s the room we’re in now, isn’t it?
BS: Yep.
GQ: You’re telling me you built a glorified studio apartment on this huge piece of Beverly Hills land?
BS: Sure, why not? Less to clean, and I have a lot of room to play sports outside whenever I want.
GQ: What do you play?
BS: How about we go inside.
…
GQ: I can honestly say that I didn’t expect your closet to just be racks and racks of sports shorts on hangers. You must have a pair of basketball shorts in every team’s colors, pro and college.
BS: This is pretty much what my dresser has looked like since I was in high school. The only difference is now I have more of them.
GQ: You dress like you’re going to the gym everyday?
BS: Absolutely. You don’t?
GQ: That can’t be true. I saw a picture of you dressed up at an event recently.
BS: Well yeah, I appreciate that there are of course times when it’s good to look good. That’s why I have a suit in the back of my car.
GQ: Is that your car in the driveway? A mailman truck?
BS: Got that at a Post Office auction! It doesn’t do too well on the highways.
GQ: What about celebrity opulence? Do you travel or go out a lot?
BS: The one extravagance I allowed myself was this custom Egg McMuffin machine. Any time of the day I can walk into my kitchen and press this little button. One button. ONE BUTTON! And three minutes later, an Egg McMuffin slides down this little chute. There’s a whole closet of machinery in the next room making this happen. But all I have to do is go to Vons once a week and buy two dozen eggs, a block of cheddar, and a… a tube of Canadian bacon. Load them up in the special refrigerator.
GQ: What about English muffins?
BS: Ok, that’s a second celebrity luxury. I have them flown in every morning from England. [laughs] Naw, I go to Vons for those too. Sometimes I get the stale ones to save money. It’s not like you taste a difference once they’re toasted.
…
GQ: You auditioned twice for Saturday Night Live but didn’t make it.
BS: Yeah, and there’s no bad blood about that at all. It let me go on to do all this other great stuff. And I keep in touch with Lorne; if I’m ever in a position to cast a live-action Mr. Peanut, I have his number.
GQ: Okay, one more question. What’s a secret you want to tell the ladies?
BS: I lost my virginity to Teenage Dream.
GQ: Didn’t that song come out last year?
BS: I thought you said that was the last question.
You can hear Brian as the voice of Huey in the DuckTales movie, now in theaters everywhere.