The GQ Interview: 26-year-old Brian Sutorius, as 16-year-old Brian Sutorius dreamed he would be

GQ: Thanks for having me over, and congratulations on the movie. Still number one at the box office.

BS: Well thank you. Can I get you a drink?

GQ: I probably shouldn’t.

BS: It’s just as well. I only have Gatorade and Dr. Pepper.

GQ: You designed this house, right? What was your inspiration?

BS: I looked at a lot of my friends’ studio apartments and kind of went from there. It’s a pretty small space for a house, just the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom, and the garage. But I park outside, so the garage can also be the living room when I have guests over.

GQ: That’s the room we’re in now, isn’t it?

BS: Yep.

GQ: You’re telling me you built a glorified studio apartment on this huge piece of Beverly Hills land?

BS: Sure, why not? Less to clean, and I have a lot of room to play sports outside whenever I want.

GQ: What do you play?

BS: How about we go inside.

GQ: I can honestly say that I didn’t expect your closet to just be racks and racks of sports shorts on hangers. You must have a pair of basketball shorts in every team’s colors, pro and college.

BS: This is pretty much what my dresser has looked like since I was in high school. The only difference is now I have more of them.

GQ: You dress like you’re going to the gym everyday?

BS: Absolutely. You don’t?

GQ: That can’t be true. I saw a picture of you dressed up at an event recently.

BS: Well yeah, I appreciate that there are of course times when it’s good to look good. That’s why I have a suit in the back of my car.

GQ: Is that your car in the driveway? A mailman truck?

BS: Got that at a Post Office auction! It doesn’t do too well on the highways.

GQ: What about celebrity opulence? Do you travel or go out a lot?

BS: The one extravagance I allowed myself was this custom Egg McMuffin machine. Any time of the day I can walk into my kitchen and press this little button. One button. ONE BUTTON! And three minutes later, an Egg McMuffin slides down this little chute. There’s a whole closet of machinery in the next room making this happen. But all I have to do is go to Vons once a week and buy two dozen eggs, a block of cheddar, and a… a tube of Canadian bacon. Load them up in the special refrigerator.

GQ: What about English muffins?

BS: Ok, that’s a second celebrity luxury. I have them flown in every morning from England. [laughs] Naw, I go to Vons for those too. Sometimes I get the stale ones to save money. It’s not like you taste a difference once they’re toasted.

GQ: You auditioned twice for Saturday Night Live but didn’t make it.

BS: Yeah, and there’s no bad blood about that at all. It let me go on to do all this other great stuff. And I keep in touch with Lorne; if I’m ever in a position to cast a live-action Mr. Peanut, I have his number.

GQ: Okay, one more question. What’s a secret you want to tell the ladies?

BS: I lost my virginity to Teenage Dream.

GQ: Didn’t that song come out last year?

BS: I thought you said that was the last question.

You can hear Brian as the voice of Huey in the DuckTales movie, now in theaters everywhere.